I have a confession to make. I’m a little old fashioned in that I prefer face to face conversation over a phone call or social media post. However, now that social distancing is the new norm, I find myself turning to my phone, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, FaceTime, Zoom, etc in an effort to keep up with family and friends and see what they are up to. There is; however, someone that I won’t find posting what they’ve been up to lately on FaceBook and that is God. Although I love seeing what all my friends and family have been up to in this new season, what’s really been on my mind lately is: What is God up to?
I’ll be honest, I don’t like change and this disruption to our normal life has brought forth a lot of change. Like so many of you, Dirk and I work from home now. We are beyond thankful that we have jobs when so many have lost theirs. The real challenge for me is working from home while at the same time trying to provide a school like experience for our girls so they can continue to grow and learn. Our work has changed too, our daily tasks have shifted gears as we teleconference, manage operations remotely, creatively maneuver events, and stay connected with colleagues. Not only does our work week look different, so do our weekends that were once filled with trips to Nana and Papa’s house, foodie adventures, dips at our community pool, and so much more.
With all this change, I am reminded that God does not change and nothing is wasted with God, and we know that for those who love Him, all things work together for good (Romans 8:28). So now more than ever, I am looking for ways where I see God at work in my family, my marriage, in my parenting, in the preschool ministry, in my relationships, and in all other facets of my life. How does God want to grow me, how does God want to work in and through me during this time? What might God be preparing my heart for?
Although I know God isn’t looking for perfection or me to be SuperMom, this overload is teaching me to give myself grace and extend it to others more than I ever have. No matter how hard I try, I can not provide the experience my girls have grown accustomed to at school. So when they push back on an activity or sit down to another virtual lesson provided by the school, and melt down because of the change they are experiencing, I am learning to extend grace to them. They don’t fully understand why they can’t go back to school, run (I mean walk) through the halls and be with their teachers and friends. My heart breaks for them and I want to melt down too, but I am thankful for God’s grace that covers me and encourages me to make imperfect progress, which comes when we take steps of progress wrapped in grace (Lysa Terkeurst). Even in these difficult moments, I can look back and see God working on my patience (giving it to others and offering some to myself), I can see Him knitting the fibers that bond Dirk, my girls, and I closer together as we navigate days where we are together 24/7, and pushing us all to show God’s love to one another. I see Him giving us more time as a family to eat all three meals together without rushing out the door from one activity to another.
I see Him giving us the time and energy to shape our weekdays and weekends with events that strengthen us relationally as a family like taking walks and bike rides together, taking our girls camping for the first time in our backyard,
face painting one another as bunnies for Easter, and dressing up to attend a tea party hosted by our girls. God is reminding us that we don’t need to be in the most magical place on Earth (although we do miss you Disney) to enjoy some of the most magical years of our girls’ lives.
Since I’ll never be able to find God on my Facebook friends list to see what He is up to, I try to listen and pray that He would reveal what He is up to during this time. I know I am going to look back one day with 20/20 vision and see exactly what He was up to (it may be months, it may take years) and it’s going to be so good to see how He was able to bring good out of this time.